…but there’s a few things i’m willing to share. For example a masterpiece recipe of how to adjust someone to a 6 hour difference on the first day of arrival. First, don’t hesitate going to the Time Square, if it’s on Saturday, that’s even better! Try poisoning them with some mexican dish like enchiladas with questionable sidings that freakishly resemble some traditional slovenian dish like matevz. On top of that add margaritas on rocks with much needed salt. Then go back to Columbus Circle with a bowl of coffee from Starbucks and enjoy the rainbow palette of highly fashioned people/freaks walking by. You might consider giving up somewhere in between but DON’T! If the person is struggling to fall asleep, use some imagination to prevent such terrible crime. After a while you’ll be “subwaying” down to the South Ferry for the first formal introduction to Lady Liberty. In fact, I got so serious about this “become-an-American-don’t-fall-asleep” thing, that I cancelled normal and healthy sleeping regime all together for the whole three weeks.
My plans did the trick but did also work against me. Getting home late Saturday or early Sunday, I don’t even remember, I was planing to sleep in most of the Sunday morning, like I always do, but instead I was up as early as 8 am. And don’t even think it was a nice relaxing Sunday! No, a highly educational, zillion hours excursion through the Museum of Natural History. I had fun tho, but I’m sure I could do without that Dinosaur Imax crap even if narrated by Michael Douglas. But it is somehow amazing seeing blue whale in its natural size, real dinosaur skeleton, etc. So yes, this was an educational week (Museum of Modern Art, United Nations…), followed by sophisticated walks through Central Park, enjoying the amazing views and not so amazing crowds from Empire State Building, 5th Ave uncontrolled shopping spree (yeah, right), over the Brooklyn Bridge… and somehow, somewhere there was a major turning point where things got out of control. I think the grand opening was the Smoke Jazz Club – planing an early night, since it’s just across the street from our building, turned out into not so early & not that cheap experience but just thinking about that rapping-face-eating homeless guy, I can say it was worth every single penny. And then there was White Horse with really great music, some crazy bar that hasn’t found itself yet (basketball match on one screen, soap operas on the other??) and everyone’s allowed to feel my pain – I was the only “nonlawyer” in that room!! And Circa Tabaco which is one of the three bars in the whole Manhattan where you still are allowed to smoke. If you ever get to a point of realizing how extremely annoyed you get by Newyorkes, go to this place or find one of the other two. Even if you don’t smoke! People are somehow less tense. They don’t feel a constant need to flip their wrist to look at the time. They sit still. They seem relaxed. They talk. They even laugh!! A smoking oasis inside of the crazy Manhattan. No wonder there’s so much crime. You can get arrested just by waking up on the wrong side of the bed. There’s no drinking in the parks. No smoking anywhere. No honking in a car. Probably showing to much of affection to someone in public places isn’t a very good idea either. No running down the escalators. And here’s the winner – Dogs are not allowed to pee on trees. Because Manhattan trees have a very hard life as it is and they don’t need some dog’s urine to make it worse. Poor dogs, like it’s not bad enough for them to be living in a concrete jungle, hardly seeing their owners and getting more attached to their hired daly walkers. Yeah, thanks god there’s a wild nature in a man-build Central Park. I’ll rather stop here, because if I start with how truly convinced people are that McDonald’s is a holy grail of healthy meal, I won’t stop soon, trust me.
Cutting Room deserves a paragraph for itself, because THAT was a night not even 300 hours of therapy would make me forget it. To make a long story short – met some guys down at South Ferry. There are only three facts you need to know about them: cute, LA & a band. Got invited to their concert, stole an American flag before (I didn’t need to tell this but I wanted to!), watched a fire-eating-willy-flashing guy trying to do a stand-up? (I’m asking, because I’m not sure what that was) And then the cute LA band came. People’s Party. Good music. Good times. No need to go into details but that was a day when I realized I really enjoyed peeing. How many of you had your picture taken (with a flash!!) on a public restroom? Yeah, didn’t think so. Anyway, the biggest thing is yet to come. We got lost. For real. Not together unfortunately. We lost each other. The stupidest thing, really. I went one way, Tanja didn’t. I came back and she was gone.
To be continued…