My moral obligation and the biggest challenge up to date

 

“…What Jung called ‘the moral obligation’ to live out and to express what one has learned in the descent or ascent to the wild Self. This moral obligation he speaks of means to live what we perceive, be it is found in the psychic Elysian fields, the isles of the dead, the bone deserts of the psyche, the face of the mountain, the rock of the sea, the lush underworld – anyplace where La Que Sabe breathes upon us, changing us. Our work is to show we have been breathed upon – to show it, give it out, sing it out, to live out in the topside world what we have received through our sudden knowings, from body, from dreams and journeys of all sorts.” (C.P.Estes – Women Who Run with the Wolves: p.31)

I was thinking the other day (this is what i do a lot lately, since someone is on a dead line with his first movie and will probably finish on a death row if he’s not done soon – completely my decision and i tend to keep my promises as you know!! But then again, i’ve always been a fan of ‘go-away-give-me-a-chance-to-miss-you’ relationships…) how predictable life really is. From the lunar phases to the galaxy collisions, i’m sure indian prophets can even predict all the natural disasters coming our way, and not to mention all the grandmothers, suffering from the back pain, pushing umbrellas in our hands… On more individual and personal level, there is a path we have chosen, people coming and going out of our life (and coming back again), the tears we cry the smiles we share, our theme songs for the week (sorry, short attention span), favorite spots we rush to… It all has a reason and a meaning. The only trust i require is knowing that where there is one ending there will always be another beginning, because something always dies in order for something else to live. The only question is what or who exactly. I’ve made a big decision a couple of weeks ago and once i felt comfortable enough with it myself, i started sharing it with people that mean the most to me. When i say i felt comfortable with the idea, it doesn’t necessarily mean i was totally at ease with it, right the opposite – a nervous wreck that was crying every couple of minutes, going back and forth, unpacking and packing the suitcase, although i passionately hate doing both of the last mentioned. But it’s only when you’re afraid, that you can truly say you’re alive, so i’ve found an endless source of positive energy, optimism and enormous will to realize what i want to. I’d be wrong to expect everyone jumping through the roof hearing about my decision, but i was really touched by the warmth and thoughtful wishes that most of you were prepared to send my way. There’s not a ‘thank-you’ big enough and i promise to get in touch with each and every one of you individually, preferably over the phone if not, at least via e-mail. Hold me on to that! On the other side, there are people that feel it’s worth keeping in contact with me, because it’s always nice to have a “friend” in New York and it might come in handy one day when you accidentally land in JFK with no place to go. I’m not stupid, blind, naive or whatever you would like me to be… And of course, there were some, that shocked me with their reactions, but i guess i have to learn again never to expect too much from anyone. Although it’s not easy when people you keep close, behave in this unbelievably destructive ways and disappoint you in issues of distrust or whatever or by being careless with their words, my words and voicing what are maybe their true feelings of me to everyone but me. Usually, i would bite into a problem face on, with a confrontation in words but i no longer see much point in doing so since there is no sign from another side. There’s not much else to do, so i’ve decided to keep a safe distance from that kind of people. Kudos to someone who managed to express such a profound truth in a simple, witty remark: “If you hang out with dream killers, you need lots of pain killers.” I don’t need someone full of doubts, negativism, fears, someone completely paranoid with my life, my decisions and my path, especially since their own life might not or hasn’t exactly been a fairy-tale. Don’t you think i constantly keep on asking myself millions of questions over and over again? It’s not like i enjoy going to bed at 4 AM, worrying and questioning myself with a third degree about every single doubt i can possibly have, every single fear that’s sitting right next to me and challenging me to crush down and admit to myself i won’t be able to make it. You know what? I will!! I’ve got all i lost and more… In the last couple of days i’ve been tested every single hour or so just as someone, whoever, wanted to see if i’m really as though as i try to present myself and wow, look, i’m still here. I’m not a player, this determination comes from the inside and even if everything turns out to be completely wrong, even if i take a fatal bite into a poisonous Big Apple, at least i won’t have to wake up in my bed every morning, rethinking and asking myself the same “what-if” question before even opening my eyes, because i’ll know. And yes, i’m not afraid of admitting my mistakes or ending up crushed and burned, my biggest fear is not to walk down the road i want, the directions i’m curious about, the mysteries that tempt me… The scars that i’m about to get are the scars i’m meant to have and the scars that will be the testimony of the road i’ve chosen. Ah, what a poet, huh? lol Yes, life could be so very simple but i’d rather have everything other than that. Because from simple i get to usual and from there to boring and the only direction i see from boring is a retrograding flow on every possible aspect of life. Not my cup of tea. To be honest, yes, there are reasons shaped like a human beings of a male species behind my decision but the main reason is me. Cuz i can, as our LA lady says it best. And that’s the attitude i’m going for, because it’s the only attitude that will help me survive. Just imagine what a killer combination this will make together with the wild beast patiently purring inside me, prepared for the biggest challenges yet to come.

Getting the big news over the iChat… even Apple doesn’t make it any easier, right T? lol

A very good friend also said to me: “You are either with me, against me or you’re not there at all.” As it may sound a bit pumped up and faintly aloof, it’s in fact a very courteous way of saying what i’d really like to say but i won’t, because it might include my favorite ‘F’ word which i haven’t yet used in this post and i don’t want to mess it up since i’m almost done. Let mama be proud of me for once!

To put it out of this abstract ramblings and into the bold font for all of you folks not having any idea what i’m talking about here: I’m staying in New York!

Stay curious and… believe!!

B

xxx

P.S.: In zrla sem ta prave cevapcice od ta pravih Hrvatov s ta pravim ajvarjem in v ta pravi druzbi. Good stuff!! Hahaha. Uuu, in po vecerji sedela na usnjeni zofi na robu plocnika in cakala taksi. In style.

I know something… about someone special!

 

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…11…12…13…14…15…16…17…18…19

So, i can count up to 19, let’s see what else i can do!

Ahhh, during times like this really sucks being so far away from home, especially when you know, your whole family will be attacking the most delicious chocolate cake my mum makes, like a hungry pack of wolves. Grrrr. I hope you all choke on it. Or get really fat. Or at least end up with a huge zit on your nose or some digestion problems to keep you awake the whole night, thinking about poor little me, surrounded by McShit’s. Never mind, just ignore the crap i’m saying, it’s my envy raging devil, blowing steam out of his ears again.

Mate-kluka-a, you were named by someone with a last name Svet and this is exactly what you are to me. The world. Everything. There is so much you inside of me that it’s hard to tell where i finish and you start… I’m babbling. The same thing i’d do sitting right next to you. Maybe the happy tears in my eyes would make my wishes feel more honest. Maybe a warm hug would assure you that i really mean it. But i’m sure you know it anyway. You knew it even before reading these lines…

Even at that early age you knew, i was going to be the prettiest one. I’m 10.000 km away, you can take the towel off now.

Thanks for being just the way you are (pardon my french & excuse my New York accent, but i just feel like saying it so) – like, you know, the best fucking sister/friend/person/… in the whole fucking world. Like, i mean, really!!  

Sis, i’d jump off the Empire State Building for you, walk up the stairs back to the 102nd floor & jump off again. And again. And again…

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y  ! !

I love you,

Barbi

xxx

 

British love invasion on the way to unbearably hot NY

 

It’s too hot to breath. Too hot to move. Too hot to live… This fucking humidity makes you sweet like a pig. A micro rainforest is growing out of my keyboard at this very moment as I’m typing this. Fungi, anyone? There’s no chance of escaping to the beach during the week, so enjoy the unbearable torture in the stone jungle. And waiting for the subway, deep underground, is like, well, being in hell with an added luxury – a smell of sweet and old socks. 

And as mister Bush is enjoying the hidden & unhidden treasures of Slovenia, and probably his new bike by now, as I’ve been informed, I’m looking forward to the British Invasions. Well, just one. Invader. Made in Europe. England. London!! I’m sure we’ll find other interesting & enjoyable stuff to do rather than just sipping Earl Gray and eating cookies. What I truly doubt is that there’ll be a blog about it. Even I feel the need to turn the censure button on from time to time. For the sake of my own safety, because having too much fun can be perceived as  illegal for some people.

And fun we shall have!

Talk to ya’ll when i’m back to reality.

B xxx

24 and happy to bug you some more :)

 

Being away from your family and people you love on your birthday is probably not one of the easiest things around. But with all your warm wishes, heart-touching words and sweet little surprises, you made me feel more loved and special than anyone could ever be. It’s funny how everyone has its own unique way of expressing and wishing a happy birthday. How can a crazy “Happy birthday NY bitch” line makes me smile with my heart for hours, knowing it comes from someone who knows me well enough to go through with something like that. Or how words you’ve heard many times before, make you cry all over again, because of the purity and honesty they present. How you find yourself sitting down, on a pavement, rolling, laughing your ass off in the middle of Broadway, listening to a, yes indeed, very sophisticated version of a Happy Birthday song. Marilyn style! How your hands shake and your heart beats with excitement when you’re running home, holding packets from different parts of the world, from people you haven’t seen in so too very long. When a five year old arranges you a real surprise birthday party and makes everyone around participate and not only that, shows up with an enormous bouquet of roses, makes you a present and a card, and helps to bake a cake. A chocolate one. With strawberries! That’s what I call a grrrreat friend! How someone steals a flower for you, just because it’s your favorite. How my phone starts going crazy as soon as it turns midnight, making me think: “Wow! These people actually took the effort of waiting until it was midnight on my side of the world!!” Or when someone, you love so much, takes a day of, even though he has major deadlines waiting, just to spend that special day with you, treats you like a princess, makes 23th floor look like the top of the world, takes you on a boat where you feel like Kate Winslet in Titanic, as sugary as it sounds, shares an endless sky and universe with you, hearing just Atlantic ocean and the same rhythm of two heartbeats, like those are the only things needed for existence.

How you’re so tired from the major, red alert sleep deprivation and high-speed craziness happening during the week, you just want to lay down before 11 pm on Saturday, put in a dvd and call it an early night, but people just won’t let you, because I’m supposedly only 24, not a grandma, which means I MUST still have some extra energy hidden somewhere to burn it off. So, I guess I’ll be singing with the birds once again this week and waving to the sun on my way home, on the first day of June.

THANK YOU again, for being with me on my birthday, even if thousands and thousands miles away in reality, for surrounding me with love and tuning my heart to a happy melody. Love you lots!!

Barbi

xxx

P.S.: I’ll see many of you just within three months. Until then, I’m pumping up my biceps, because I have a feeling, I’ll be in a mood to give out some giant, teddy-bear hugs when I’m back! (JSYK: Kisses definitely not excluded!)

 

Little Flavours of KT Tunstall

What a great feeling! Seeing people from Europe that is. Not only that, but to listen to some brilliant, ears-spoiling music and being lucky enough to get the best seats in the house, just a few meters above the stage, in a loge, THAT is what I call an orgazmic adventure in the making. Or a walk in the sparkly woods if you wish. Yes, it would have been so much easier to go on one of KT’s gigs when I was still in London, but you know me, I never do things the easy way if there’s a chance of… hmm… flying to a different continent? Ha! Obviously, it worked! Btw, it was a well good decision calling her the other day to get one of the press passes or whatever you call those annoying things hanging around your neck. Maybe next time, I should ask for a sticker or something.

 

Anyway, the stage scene was simple – a large flag with blue sky and pinkish-yellow clouds hanging as a background. Just a bit of light to set the mood. Quite boring from a photographer’s point of view. But the acoustic set was probably a tongue-roller for all the musicians, rowing down the same stream, with percussion, basses, KT’s guitars at the center of the stage (doooh), backing guitars next to her and synth, xylophone & other little noise makers on her very left. Miniature Disasters was the opening song, setting just the right atmosphere and giving everyone a taste of what more was there to come.

The sound was grrrrreat and clearly, those five people on stage really knew their business. Seeing the tricks she does with her loop pedal aka Wee Bastard as she affectionally calls it, was a blast! She even came up with a thank-you song for the crew, a Bee Gees cover of Stayin’ alive. She finished it: “Stayin’ aliiiiii-iiii-iii-iive… cuz without you, we’d be dead!” Maybe next time, there should be a waring: “Bring extra pants!” I wetted mine laughing at her jokes so much. She really is this sweetest, coolest, down-to-earth thing… she’s still, she’s still KT from the block! The only complain about the concert that I can think of (yes, it’s not that easy being pickish when things amaze you to the highest point and above) is that it was way too short. Come on, 3 hours and that’s it?!

This was her last US tour gig and I think they’re off to Amsterdam next. There seems to be something with me, catching the last tour gigs all the time. Well, for one, I’m sure they are the best and there’s something about them, some kind of a good-fairy thing or whatever, that covers me with magic lucky dust, so each time something amazing can happen. And as KT said: “The last tour gig is always fun. It means you can drink more after!” At the end, she practically gave all the stuff, standing on the stage as a decoration, to the audience. Even chairs!! Can you imagine someone carrying a rocking-chair across the Times Square in the middle of the night? Well funny.

After the gig, she came out and talked to the people. What’s up with that?? No I’m-so-tired-get-me-a-cab-i-wanna-go-home attitude? It’s not like she’s in desperate need of getting or keeping fans – I think that kind of came by itself with selling over one million copies of her debut album in US alone and even twice that number in UK. Well, no one wants hey-i’m-mariah-carrey-hold-my-chewing-gum-while-i-sing attitude anyway. There’s only one KT! And we love her!

I know someone will be DELIGHTED to se this. You’re welcome. Again.

P.S.: I don’t know through what kind of middle internet crisis this WordPress shit is going, but not only i’m posting and reposting the same blog all over again, trying to get the typing lined with the pictures, but also pictures seem to be losing more quality then usual. Or maybe it’s just my prebirthday crankiness? The first or the later – it’s annoying!!

Oh, and btw, check out the song list!! Those of you who actually know some of the songs might find it very funny.

 

Conversations with Go… me & KT Tunstall

There’s probably lots of people who want me dead for various kinds of reasons:

a) for not returning the messages,

b) for turning off my phone(s) for just long enough to turn their hair gray,

c) for not even giving a sign of still being alive…

(the list is probably longer than this, but anyway)

I’m fine. Alive and kicking. It was one of my regular disconnections from everything that I felt was holding me down in any way. We had a Memorial day on Monday so I had a long extended weekend-therapy with myself. I was in such a terrible state after all the things happening in the last couple of weeks, felt a surge of anxiety towards everything and everyone, my brain was working and processing things in a high speed mode, making it hard for me to calm down & relax if only just for a minute…

So I needed to close my little box to be alone with me for a while. To slow down a heartbeat to an easier tempo, lowering my dynamics to something between pianissimo and mezzo-piano, disconnecting the mind, trying to be totally at peace with a long exposure…

Well, yesterday felt like a good enough time to join back the NY jungle. In a matter of 10 minutes (10!!) or practically just when I put my foot on the Broadway Ave, I saw a woman carrying a frisbie on her had, walking like she’s about to join the army and constantly repeating the alphabet. Next there were two breathtakingly, gorgeous, take-me-home-and-let-me-look-at-you-forever guys who started to get on to each other like they’re about to seal the deal (if you know what i mean ), a man around his fifties, trying to ride his own dog (and it wasn’t a giant horse type, just a normal sized English Cocker Spaniel) and a chinese guy, touching his balls in the most obnoxious way, running after me and screaming: “Excuse me, miss!!” And I’m sure he didn’t just want to ask me what the time was. So that was it. That’s how I ruined precious, not to mention HARD TO GET, days of long & intense work on myself. All gone. Now I feel like showing my ass around some more. And with my birthday coming, that’s the least that could happen. So, don’t be surprised if my phone is turned off on Friday! (BUT, I’m willing to make an exception if someone promises to sing  a Happy Birthday song to me. Marilyn-Monroe-2-Kennedy style!! lol)

 

Anyhow, if nothing else, it was worth seeing the spectacular shows the sun did every evening before going to bed.

 

 

And tomorrow (or today for many of you) I’ll be even more alive and kicking at a gig I’ve been dying to see for more than two years now. One-woman-guitar-storm aka KT Tunstall’s coming to Town. Of course, no luck with photo accreditations – the venue, as I was told, has nothing to do with the press, you can only get it confirmed through a record company or a manager. Sure, no problem! Just let me look at my phone… Aha, Address book, that’s what I need… KT Tunstall… calling… ringing… picking-up… “Yeah, hey, KT, it’s Barbi. I didn’t want to go through all the hustle of bothering your manager and the record company, so I thought I just called you… Yes, that’s right. That’s exactly what I need!! … Aha… Aha… Well, thank you! So, that’s one photo pass with vip access after, right? … Oh, thanks, darling! You’re a doll!! … And wait! While we’re on the phone, there’s something I was trying to talk to you about. You know that song, Paper Aeroplanes? … Yeah. Aha… Aha… A bad day, huh? Well, listen. Could I have a reclamation on it or something? … Sure. A new album would be perfect! Thanks! … Look, I’m afraid I’m quite busy at the moment, so why don’t my people call you’re people and talk about all the details? … Perfect! … No, I don’t care what the opening song is. … No, really… lis… khm… listen… Oh. Bad connection. What? I..en’t..rel..ear..yo..” It’s always good to have a well updated address book, you know, for the Little Favors… and lots of imagination to go with it.

Hugs to all of you people out there… and it doesn’t even matter if you’re black or white. (just for the general knowing – I wasn’t touching my balls like mister Jacko during his white-gloves & black-hat performances… for one thing, well, I don’t have any)

What happens in New York, stays in New York (Part III)

So, we’re almost at the very end of this beautiful, everyday story. This is the sophisticated part of it. Or at least that’s how I’ll try to present it. Don’t keep your hopes too high. Just in case.

Of course we went to Bloomingdale’s where you can get lots of crap for lots of money as well as some reasonably priced stuff that you would actually be comfortable enough to wear in public. And not just when it’s dark outside.

Disney Store on the 5th Avenue is truly magical. You’re greeted by a giant Mickey Mouse, posing as a Statue of Liberty and everyone’s favorite Disney characters can be found there. Really a nice place to see, you almost feel like buying everything but unless you have a huge room and a desperate need to fill it up with lots of cute things you’re never going to need, you’ll be probably better off saving those dollars for something you can actually use. (Jeez, do I sound like a totally sane and reasonable person or what?! Hahaha.)

Toys “R” Us at Time Sq is another place to let your inner child out & play for  while. Giant Lego sculptures, Jurassic Park dinosaurs, flying Superman, Barbie house you can actually walk into, a big spinning wheel…

The view from the Top of The Rock at Rockefeller Center offers an amazing look over Central Park and what makes it even greater – with much less people than ESB. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still extremely crowded, even during a week day, but here you can actually move, without hitting someone in the ribs every time you try to make a step. And they call this Rockefeller Center a city within a City. I assume because it has 100.000 telephones, 50.000 windows, 400 elevators, 40 restaurants, 4 subway lines, konzulates, post office, NBC studios…

Grand Central Station is the largest train station in the world by number of platforms. 750.000 people walk in and out and 550 trains leave the platform every single day. It’s famous for it’s clock with four faces, which is known as a meeting point. And you can easily recognize a tourist – they all turn their heads up because the celling is magnificent!

On the last weekend we also went on a Circle Cruise around Manhattan. Didn’t get seasick but more than sick of a man with a microphone. He should get some kind of a prize for being sooooo…zzz…damn…zzz…boooriiiing!! Even now, when I have trouble sleeping, I just think of him and I’m drifting off to my dreamland in the next second.

Almost forgot about the Bronx Zoo. Nice place for a whole-day-trip. A quick $1.000.000 question: Where did I spend the most time at?  Can you imagine there is only 105.000 gorillas left?! Maybe they are disappearing to make space for almost 7.000.000.000 human monkeys making shit out of this planet. If they extinct, before I see them in their natural habitat, I’m gonna jump off from Empire State Building (King Kong style), but first I’ll personally take care that as many sonofabitches as possible get what they deserve, for letting or making it happen. And I swear, on a grave of every gorilla died for an ashtray or anything as unimaginably stupid as that, I’ll turn these words into action!!

So, that was it. I still stand behind my famous quote about suitcases, planes and people leaving. I realize this might make me sound like a terrorist, but trust me, it has a totally different background. I don’t LOVE all of that stuff. I HATE it. With passion! Although, I have to admit, calling JFK to tell them there was something wrong with a plane flying at that and that hour on that stupid Wednesday did enter my twisted mind… May 7th totally sucked. I was a mess. Coming with Tanja to the airport to say goodbye was probably a bad decision. God I hate goodbyes!! After the second one (another friend was leaving for Miami) and knowing that Brando will still be too busy to deal with a major wreck like I was (the man hardly sees a ray of light, stuck behind his computer 24/7, trying to finish the movie… goddamn, he even has a beard!!) things got a bit too overwhelming for me. I was sitting on a subway, trying to get home as soon as possible, constantly repeating in my head: “Don’t let it go! You’ll be fine. Keep your act together. Not here!! Barbiiiii…” But no, I HAD to listen to the music and I HAD to look at the pictures (stupid iPod touch that has everything!!). It was just a matter of time before I would explode. And I did. I started sobbing, crying, I’m sure I even suffered a minor panic attack, because I couldn’t breath for an uncomfortable amount of time, everything around was wet because of my crocodile tears… People started looking at me. I didn’t care. But funny enough, woman, sitting opposite me, gave me the biggest everything’s-gonna-be-alright smile, lady next to her almost started crying herself, men on my right gave me a Klenex, the one on my right hugged me and I instinctively leaned my head on his shoulders… I got a free drink at McDonald’s because I was crying at the register, trying to find a quarter and imagine what else could have happened if I didn’t decide to take it all out that day just to get over it. Don’t even think I’m completely fine now, I just do other (very very stupid) things instead of crying to keep me busy. Maybe I need to stop carrying my heart on the sleeve and focus on being a top class bitch who uses people just for her needs and pleasures and dumps them like a smelly garbage the second after. I wouldn’t miss anyone, I wouldn’t care if someone, 10.000 kilometers away was fine and happy or not… And no one would miss me because, well, because I’d be a bitch!

Anyway, after that little outburst of mine, I’ve even decided to give this American people a second chance. I took it seriously and started reading Why do people love America? just to keep the motivation alive. lol But I don’t think I’m gonna like the States any more just because some lady named Guadalupe, put $3 in a slot machine in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and – KA-CHING! – won a jackpot of two and a half million dollars. Btw, this Guadalupe is a mum of an actress-singer / animal killer  you might have heard of. She goes by the name of J Lo. Just in case I change my mind, I have two other books next to this one – Why do people hate America and one by Michael Moore. Gotta keep it balanced.

The End.

P.S.: You’re all invited to the Cutting Room next friday for my birthday party. Presents optional but definitely not forbidden. ;) And if anyone gets lost after, take it as your fault, I’m done bothering the NYPD!

What happens in New York, stays in New York (Part II)

 

So, I was standing there, shocked, thinking where could she be. Went back and forth for at least three times and after that I started panicking. I saw two policemen standing across the street and shared a detailed story about how I lost my friend. “Well, the best thing for you to do is to go home and wait for her there. If she doesn’t show up, call 911.” “No, I can’t go home.” (hysterically crying) “You need to help me. She’s LOST. She doesn’t have a phone. She doesn’t know WHERE to go!! We need to go LOOK for her!!” One of them tried to calm me down by petting my shoulder and offering me a Klenex and the other one saying: “We cannot just drive around New York City looking for your friend.” And then one of my smartest questions popped out: “WHY NOT??!!” At that moment I was truly convinced that that would be the only reasonable thing to do. Sirens and the whole police search thing going on. Didn’t happen. After that I started crying a bit more. Walking around, sobbing, talking to myself, like many Newyorkers do. Now I know why. They’ve probably lost someone too. I went up and down that enchanted 24th street over 30 times, with a Manhattan map projected inside my head and me, represented as a blinking red spot, searching the streets and avenues for many years to come. Until I would find her. I wasn’t going home alone and that was final! After such a long day and wild night it’s  normal to get very, very cranky (loosing someone doesn’t help either), so I just needed to sit down for a while but instead I felt asleep on a bench. Around 6:30 am I got a call saying Tanja was already home. Well, at least hailing a taxi that early on Sunday morning wasn’t a problem. Once I got home I was so indescribably relieved  that she was ok, but entering the room, seeing her watching the goddamn tv, made me completely lose my nerves. It would definitely be a fun thing to see as we were yelling at each other like some old married couple. “I would never leave someone who’s in such a big city for the first time all alone in the middle of nowhere!!” “Oh yeah, well, how can you be so stupid to go wander the streets you don’t know by yourself?!” Was fun! Super fun! At the end the excitement of realizing that both of us were ok won. And all I can remember doing for the rest of the Sunday was sleeping and being extremely cold. Oh, I almost forgot! You know how SHE got home? In a police car!! They gave her a ride to 87th & Broadway. Bit**! But after all, this will make a great story for our grandchildren.

I’m afraid I didn’t memorize how things happened in exact chronological order, maybe because I was making a late-night trips up to Bronx and back, just to make sure Someone got home safely. And there were other, personal benefits from that, too. Like, hmm, enjoying the peaceful countryside. Or falling asleep at 4 am on a train to Manhattan, missing my stop and then, too pissed off to bother taking another train, trowing myself into the first taxi, ending up in bed close to 5 am, just for a taste of what it should feel like to sleep, waking up at 7:30. For two weeks straight, thankyouverymuch. But I’d do it again, anytime!

I don’t think a single day has passed without laughing our asses off and being amazed by a human stupidity. An underwater man chasing us down the 5th Avenue with some grassy-muddy stuff all over his hands, screaming: “This shit is too good to die for!” A mister Liberty aka Can Collector falling asleep in front of his lady down at the Battery Park. People, you’re seeing for the first time, that want to sit with you for a very obvious reason(s). People nose-picking, and yes, I know, it’s a very common habit in any culture and Tutankhamen even had his personal nose picker, but do you really need to eat your… catch? At rush hour?! And others, eating food that cannot be identified like they were raised by a pack of wolves and had just entered civilization. A guy, born and ready to make the whole nation laugh by signing up for the next audition of American Idol, singing on the subway for the whoooole 45 minutes and doing this little choreography with his head: “This is a gangsta song. This is a gangsta song…” And a drunk fella, explaining to the lady sitting next to him, why life was so hard & bla bla bla, for the same amount of time. Or an 80-years old man, dressed as a woman, entering a subway at 125th street, around 2 o’clock. At first I didn’t understand why Tanja was saying: “Don’t come on! Don’t come on!” But once THAT had entered the car and sat right opposite from us, I knew why. I can’t remember laughing that much. Ever!! My whole body was shaking, I couldn’t look at IT, I was crying. Everyone else had the same problem. The only thing I regret is not following IT to arrange a photo shoot or something. And I’m sure once I would get that laughter thing under control, we could be looking at the beginning of a very beautiful friendship.

The homeless around here are something too. And they really work to get their pennies!! For example, there is this guy, he must be in his sixties I should think, that raps and he’s so cool at doing it, and when he’s done, he does this strange thing with his face – he almost eats his lips & cheeks and pops his eyes out and stands still for a few seconds. I thought I was going to die listening and looking at him when we were leaving, hmm, the Smoke Club? (Tanja?) And there’s this other sweet thing. She has her regular spot on Brodway Ave and always asks ever so politely: “Could you make a small donation?” I mean, who wouldn’t?! I’m afraid that one day I might just take her home. I really think I will. There’s no point of having an extra bed if no one uses it! And she has a song now. lol One day, after I’m long gone and all there’s left are my unforgettable captures of the world once existed (I’m too self-confident today, so just ignore the crap I’m saying here), this song will hit the top-charts and stay in the hearts of people for many years to come. Think of it like Abba’s Chiquitita of the 21st century. Hahaha. Man, I’m on fire!! Maybe because I got a marriage proposal today? Ok. Completely different story and totally unrelated to this, but since I’m showing off without any shame… Speaking of shame and all the crazy people, now would be a good time to confess a few stupidities of my own. Ok, so here we go, I’m just gonna shoot it all out… I rang a bell to a very special apartment and ran off, did some crazy things while people were vacuuming / folding laundry / sleeping / or at work, fell asleep on a couch when I REALLY shouldn’t, watched a 2-hour long documentary about Britney Spears and got turned on by one of her songs, ate double chocolate cookies in bed… Well, I’ve started with the innocent ones just to prepare you for the last two – I showed my ass at the South Ferry looking at Lady Liberty, danced on a subway pole with my pants off and People have pictures to prove it, so now, I need to be VERY nice to these People, sucking up their asses as much as I can, as often as I can, so I can protect my behind from being shown to more people. Yeah, I know, a few lines above I’m rambling on about crazy people in NY. I think I’m done now. We’re even. I totally fit in. But still, it’s not like I was running on the streets of China. Naked. Hmm, interesting! Maybe I should update my “Things-to-do-befor-entering-a-nuthouse” list. Anyhow, it’s a good thing I’m ONLY turning TWENTY-goddamn-FOUR in, wow, 14 days!! I don’t see a major transformation happening with this number tho, maybe I can plan a big project of becoming sane and normal at 25. Don’t hold me on it, I’m just thinking out loud, it’s still too far away to make real plans. :D

I’m afraid only Tanja knows what’s on these last two images. Or at least she should, since she took them. I’m posting them here because they make a great ending to this craziness & were taken right after my Lady-Liberty-ass-posing and before subway-pole-dancing, so I’m kind of curious to find out, what could have been more interesting to her than me, flashing around with my naked ass, that she actually bothered taking this abstract masterpieces of whatever. But I have to admit, I really like the first one. I’ll call it “Space, 30 million years from now”.

End of Part II.

There’ll be another one. More down to earth & I swear I won’t be so honest. Because no matter how much I love you guys, whether you admit it or not, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! Ah, I don’t really believe it, but I’ve always wanted to use that line. Jack Nicholson – only gets better with age. lol Yeah, I think I’m gonna go with this “less-honesty” thing after all.

P.S.: Luka, to answer the question popping up in your head – yes, I am drunk. Drunk on life, my friend! And I’m in New York, so I lowered my moral views down to the minimum. Who cares!

P.S2.: Bex, I do! ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

What happens in New York, stays in New York (Part I)

 

…but there’s a few things i’m willing to share. For example a masterpiece recipe of how to adjust someone to a 6 hour difference on the first day of arrival. First, don’t hesitate going to the Time Square, if it’s on Saturday, that’s even better! Try poisoning them with some mexican dish like enchiladas with questionable sidings that freakishly resemble some traditional slovenian dish like matevz. On top of that add margaritas on rocks with much needed salt. Then go back to Columbus Circle with a bowl of coffee from Starbucks and enjoy the rainbow palette of highly fashioned people/freaks walking by. You might consider giving up somewhere in between but DON’T! If the person is struggling to fall asleep, use some imagination to prevent such terrible crime. After a while you’ll be “subwaying” down to the South Ferry for the first formal introduction to Lady Liberty. In fact, I got so serious about this “become-an-American-don’t-fall-asleep” thing, that I cancelled normal and healthy sleeping regime all together for the whole three weeks.

My plans did the trick but did also work against me. Getting home late Saturday or early Sunday, I don’t even remember, I was planing to sleep in most of the Sunday morning, like I always do, but instead I was up as early as 8 am. And don’t even think it was a nice relaxing Sunday! No, a highly educational, zillion hours excursion through the Museum of Natural History. I had fun tho, but I’m sure I could do without that Dinosaur Imax crap even if narrated by Michael Douglas. But it is somehow amazing seeing blue whale in its natural size, real dinosaur skeleton, etc. So yes, this was an educational week (Museum of Modern Art, United Nations…), followed by sophisticated walks through Central Park, enjoying the amazing views and not so amazing crowds from Empire State Building, 5th Ave uncontrolled shopping spree (yeah, right),  over the Brooklyn Bridge… and somehow, somewhere there was a major turning point where things got out of control. I think the grand opening was the Smoke Jazz Club – planing an early night, since it’s just across the street from our building, turned out into not so early & not that cheap experience but just thinking about that rapping-face-eating homeless guy, I can say it was worth every single penny. And then there was White Horse with really great music, some crazy bar that hasn’t found itself yet (basketball match on one screen, soap operas on the other??) and everyone’s allowed to feel my pain – I was the only “nonlawyer” in that room!! And Circa Tabaco which is one of the three bars in the whole Manhattan where you still are allowed to smoke. If you ever get to a point of realizing how extremely annoyed you get by Newyorkes, go to this place or find one of the other two. Even if you don’t smoke! People are somehow less tense. They don’t feel a constant need to flip their wrist to look at the time. They sit still. They seem relaxed. They talk. They even laugh!! A smoking oasis inside of the crazy Manhattan. No wonder there’s so much crime. You can get arrested just by waking up on the wrong side of the bed. There’s no drinking in the parks. No smoking anywhere. No honking in a car. Probably showing to much of affection to someone in public places isn’t a very good idea either. No running down the escalators. And here’s the winner – Dogs are not allowed to pee on trees. Because Manhattan trees have a very hard life as it is and they don’t need some dog’s urine to make it worse. Poor dogs, like it’s not bad enough for them to be living in a concrete jungle, hardly seeing their owners and getting more attached to their hired daly walkers. Yeah, thanks god there’s a wild nature in a man-build Central Park. I’ll rather stop here, because if I start with how truly convinced people are that McDonald’s is a holy grail of healthy meal, I won’t stop soon, trust me.

Cutting Room deserves a paragraph for itself, because THAT was a night not even 300 hours of therapy would make me forget it. To make a long story short – met some guys down at South Ferry. There are only three facts you need to know about them: cute, LA & a band. Got invited to their concert, stole an American flag before (I didn’t need to tell this but I wanted to!), watched a fire-eating-willy-flashing guy trying to do a stand-up? (I’m asking, because I’m not sure what that was) And then the cute LA band came. People’s Party. Good music. Good times. No need to go into details but that was a day when I realized I really enjoyed peeing. How many of you had your picture taken (with a flash!!) on a public restroom? Yeah, didn’t think so. Anyway, the biggest thing is yet to come. We got lost. For real. Not together unfortunately. We lost each other. The stupidest thing, really. I went one way, Tanja didn’t. I came back and she was gone.

To be continued…

 

A wise man wrote…

… and how very true he was!